Hilary Jacobs Hendel | The Change Triangle

We don’t get to pick our families. And, sometimes the family we have is just not what we want.

How would a little boy learn that it was good to express intimacy and affection if his own father could not? Answer: A little boy would not.

I suspected Robert’s sudden question about normalcy had to do with his new relationship. Love renders us vulnerable to rejection. We natural

Cecily grew up in a family with lots of shouting and sometimes some hitting. Cecily naturally thought yelling and hitting WAS anger. I

Apologizing is hard. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of an insincere apology, you know how demoralizing that feels. In stark...

Many of us as children or adolescents shared our feelings with the “wrong” person - someone whose response was to humiliate or reject us.

When I was a little girl, I felt at times alone and not a priority. That feeling of aloneness and not mattering made me very sad.

We blame ourselves. We beat ourselves up. We call ourselves names like “loser” and “failure.” And then we wonder why we feel small, alone